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It is about seven, seven thirty in the morning at my local Wal-Mart. I can see the pantie isle out of the corner of my eye as I approach the fifteen minute mark of hoovering and going though the motions of browsing the men’s clothing, but not really paying attention to any particular article of clothing. The older woman working that section of the store finishes straightening an end cap a couple isles from the one containing the panties and the she goes down one of the isles she was next too. A quick glance around and I see no one and I walk over and down the pantie isle.
I get about halfway down the isle and stop. My eyes scan the plethora of eight-packs of panties of all sorts of styles, sizes and colors. I take a minute to be grateful that I researched women’s panties online before venturing out and already know both the size and style I am looking for. I find the spot on the rack with my size and the style I am looking for and begin comparing the colors and patterns of the panties contained in both.
I hear a wheel drag slightly, unable to turn as far as the other three on the shopping cart as it and the woman pushing it begin to turn down the isle from the end I had entered. My heart began to beat faster and I felt myself already starting to panic. In one fluid motion my eyes return to the panties, finding a pack in my size and style while my arm extends out and grabs the thin plastic package and my feet begin to carry me quickly to the other end of the isle. I make my way to the checkout lanes and notice there is no one at the self checkout lanes and so I opt for that option, minimizing the risk of having to make contact with anyone else. I ring in the panties and couple other items I had already grabbed, slide my card, snatch up the receipt, almost before the machine has finished printing it, and head for my car and head home to try on my new panties.
The above is the story of my first experience going into a store and purchasing anything remotely feminine. Many of you reading this may have strikingly similar stories and many of you may still be in the process of building up the nerve to do something like this. I am here to tell you, though, that one thing I’ve already learned is that there is NO REASON to feel so scared or intimidated by the notion of going into a store and buying panties, makeup, blouses, dresses or anything else you might want but haven’t the nerve to go out and buy. Of course, you can always just shop online, but if you are like me, you are way too impatient to wait for shipping, but I am telling you, you can go into Wal-Mart right now, buy yourself a bra and so long as you follow a few very simple tips and keep in mind just a couple amazingly awesome truths, no one will ever suspect that the bra, or anything else you are buying, are necessarily for you.
The first tip I have to help you be able to go buy any product you want without shame or fear is to keep it simple and only buy one or two things at a time. When I told my wife about my crossdressing and that I wanted to start openly exploring it, I went out the next day and bought some makeup, a bra (since I already had the panties from the above mentioned story), a blouse and a pair of jeans, but I got them all from different stores, buying only one or two items at each store. If you take this approach, you can do what I did when I bought my panties and also buy a few other items, so it looks like you are just out grocery shopping and maybe you wife or girlfriend or even just a female friend or family member, asked you to pick up something for her while you were out. Really, though, you don’t need the other items. Even if you just went to the counter with, say, one tube of lipstick and some blush (which is exactly what I did yesterday), who ever is running the register will at the most think you are already running errands, happened to be in the area and a wife/girlfriend/female family member as you to make a stop for her. Now, if you buy too many things together (like say everything you would need for a basic makeup starter kit like moisturizer, foundation, powder, eyeshadow, mascara, eyeliner, blush, etc.), you are pretty much giving them no choice but to assume it is for you, no matter how many other items you mix it all in with. Keep it to a few items at a time and unless you give them reason to think otherwise, they will never suspect it is for you… unless you go to the same store every day at the same time and always have the same cashier, so mix it up too, lol. Which reminds me…
Tip number two is to mix up the stores you go to. At this point there are really only a few stores that still intimidate me too much to go into and start shopping (mainly the makeup/beauty stores) but I have four stores that are my kind of “go to” places. Those stores are Wal-Mart, Burlington Coat Factory, Walgreens and Gordman’s. I like all four of these stores because of the way they are laid out: they are large and not so open that everyone in the store can see everyone else, Burlington Coat Factory kind of is, but its large enough that if I get there early when they aren’t busy I feel like I am not drawing attention and I can remain feeling comfortable. The first time I went out and bought everything I needed (some makeup, bra, shirt and pants), these are the stores I went to, but other than that I rotate them. If I need makeup I go to Wal-Mart and Walgreens, going to one on one day and then the other the next time I need something. Apply the same idea to Burlington Coat Factory and Gordman’s but with clothes and you have my shopping… routine? I don’t know if that’s the right word but I’m going with it, lol.
My third and final tip for this post is to stay calm the entire time. If you feel you need too, freak out inside your head, but force your body to remain cool and composed. If you are visibly nervous you will automatically draw attention to yourself, regardless of what you are doing or looking at. On top of that, if you are visibly nervous, draw attention to yourself and then are seen browsing, say, makeup, people will see that you are nervous about looking at and picking out makeup and their imaginations will start kicking in. But just avoid all of that by staying calm, at least on the outside and no one will even pay attention to you. Which actually, I have one more tip: Even if you feel like someone knows… who cares? Seriously? If they are a stranger, chances are once you go your way and they go theirs, you will never see each other again, and even if you do, the chances of either of you remembering your first encounter is nearly zero. So if you think someone is watching you or that someone knows you are planning on wearing the makeup, bra, dress, whatever, just remember that in the long run, their opinion of you doesn’t matter. It doesn’t even matter in the short term because they are a stranger and have no immediate impact on your life or happiness. Buy the dress and give them a smile as you walk away 😉
Next, there are a couple of truths that are undeniable that help to keep in mind. The first, besides the ones already mentioned above, is that when you are at a store like Wal-Mart, for instance, the cashiers ring in HUNDREDS, possibly thousands of items each shift that they work. As someone who runs a register (not at Wal-Mart, but in retail), I can tell you that we go into auto pilot. I almost never remember what a customer who I rang in two minutes ago bought because I just don’t care enough to pay attention. Cashiers are usually underpaid for the extremely rude customers we have to deal with, and they are far more plentiful than you might think, and so we are really just there to do our jobs and collect our paycheck at the end of the week. We really don’t care what you are buying, trust me. If you don’t believe me, think about when someone buys alcohol or cigarettes or anything else where they need to verify the customer’s age. Know that beep the register makes? The one that is clearly different from when a bar code is scanned? That is to get out attention, causing us to have to stop, check your ID and, depending on the system their register uses, either slide your ID or punch your birth date into the register. So basically, even the people who make the registers know how mind numbing our jobs can be at times and they design the machines accordingly.
The next truth to keep in mind is more related to grooming. I currently shave everything from my face down. I shave my armpits, chest, stomach and everything below the waist. I go the the store and buy new razor blades and women’s shaving cream without batting an eye, partly because of the confidence I now have about doing so but also because male grooming has gotten so mainstream and common place that people very rarely question a hairless man anymore. The other day I went to a higher end store and I was window shopping epilators. A woman who works there walked by, asked if I needed any help and we were a good five or so minutes into the conversation about their epilators before I even passively mentioned my wife. Up until that point, the woman most likely assumed I was either shopping for my wife or that my wife likes me to stay well groomed. Now, it has dawned on me that in a situation like that I may have an easier time because even though it is winter at the moment I don’t wear gloves inside, so the woman very well could have seen my wedding ring. Even if you take that out of the equation, though, even an unmarried man could have a girlfriend, or maybe the guy just doesn’t like body hair. Either way, this leads me into the next truth…
No matter what, you are a paying customer. Even if the person helping you knows whatever you are shopping for is for you, even if they figure out that you like to wear women’s clothing, you are a customer. At the end of the day, if you are spending money in their store, nobody really cares. If they own the place, great, you are one of the people that keeps their store open and you have money they want you to spend. If they are just an hourly employee, you are their job security. So really, even if they know, even if you tell them, they may have an opinion about it that they may or may not want to share with you, but you are spending money and so they don’t care.
The next truth is that you need to expect that someday, somewhere, you will have a negative experience while shopping. I will say that this hasn’t happened to me personally yet, but I know that it will eventually. So why is this comforting? Because keeping it in mind, I have gotten to a point where I am completely comfortable with going out and shopping, but at the same time I am mentally prepared for someone to say something to me about it. I am not going to say that I know exactly what I would do, but I have a good idea, and so I am able to let that just sit in the back of my mind and then I just enjoy the shopping. I still get a little nervous from time to time, but those times are getting exceedingly rare, so it does get easier the more you go shopping since you get a little more comfortable with it each time.
And finally, the last truth to keep in mind is the most important: It doesn’t matter what anyone else says or thinks, because you are yourself and you are beautiful.
Erica S.