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So first off, I feel I should point out that I am not even close to being a certified expert. Everything I know and understand about being transgender comes from online research and my own personal feelings. Also keep in mind that this not going to be a text book overview of what it is and means to be transgender, just simply my understanding of it. Also please note that while I am making sure all of what I post here is as accurate as possible, any mistakes I make that I later find or are point out to me I will correct and log the correction at the bottom of the post.

Though it is a little cliche, I suppose I will start with the definition of transgender, which is: denoting or relating to a person whose self-identity does not conform unambiguously to conventional notions of male or female gender. (Thanks to Google for that definition btw). But what does that actually mean? Well it can me a vast number of things, but the basic idea is that a person is transgender when their natural behavior and/or personality at the very least share a few or more characteristics of what would be expected from their opposite genetic gender. So, for instance, a man who is in touch with his feelings, dislikes having body hair and likes to look his best, could technically be considered transgender. Mind you, that example is kind of a bare minimum type of scenario, meaning that it doesn’t 100% mean someone is transgender just because that example happens to apply to them. But I use the example to help illustrate the point that anything from the given example all the way up to someone taking hormones and living full-time as the opposite gender they were born as can be considered transgender, meaning that far more people can technically fall into this category than you might imagine.

So now that brings us to the question of why. Why would someone feel like they identify either partly or wholly as their opposite gender? The answer is remarkably simple and easy; because that is simply who they are. There is no other definitive answer than that, because if there was, it would imply that there is something wrong with being transgender, that is absolutely, positively must stem from some other, as yet unidentified variable, whether it be mental instability, the result of a negative experience as a child, blah, blah, blah. And the reality of it is that it simply is not, not in the overwhelmingly vast majority of cases out there. Sure, somewhere out there in the world, there has been and probably currently is and most likely always will be a small number of people for whom there might be some other reason for it, but for a percentage of transgender individuals out there that is so close to being one hundred percent that we might as well assume that it is for all intents and purposes of this blog, being transgender is simply who we are. Some of us are content with occasional indulgence, perhaps just wearing a pair of panties and a bra for genetic men to feel more feminine or wearing boxers and walking a little more rigidly for genetic women who want to feel more masculine, others take it further, transforming themselves through shape altering clothing worn under an outfit intended for the opposite sex and putting on makeup to visually re-contour our face to achieve the right look. I am one of the latter as I enjoy shaving my body from the face down and at least a couple times a week dressing up in one of my female outfits, throwing on a wig and some makeup. I even go so far as to try to mimic the way women walk, talk and generally carry themselves.

This brings me to my next point: there is a bit of a difference between being transgender and simply crossdressing. For the sake of argument, I will admit that to an extent anyone who crossdresses (either male to female [MTF] or female to male [FTM]) can be classified as transgender, however I do not see the two necessarily going hand-in-hand. There are many people out there who crossdress for sexual reasons, though there are many, many more of us for whom it is either minimally sexual or not at all sexual (which I am one of, as it is not sexual to me at all). So now you may be thinking, “Well if they are doing it for sexual reasons, then why would that not make them transgender since that is clearly them sharing a kind of major characteristic of the opposite gender?” And that is an amazingly brilliant question! Allow me to answer, but not that the explanation may be a little graphic (though only for informative reasons), so if you are not comfortable with that, skip passed the indented text below and to the non-graphic summary immediately after it.

 The thing to remember about sex is that when you approach it from a place of pure exploration of pleasure and you become open minded about it, there is a lot out there that people can do that does not seem to conform to normal gender roles.This is because of the idea of something being taboo, which basically means it is either culturally, socially or religiously frowned upon or outright banned. The reason taboo is so often associated with sex is because as you loosen up and become more open and comfortable with your sexuality, you begin to find pleasure in places you never would have thought to try before because of the way society would or does view it. There is also the idea that people are drawn to certain types of new experiences because they are considered taboo and they enjoy going against social norms and such.

So, with that in mind, consider something that has been around for a very, very, very long time but has only fairly recently started to gain earnest popularity: pegging. Now, pegging is… to put it as non-awkwardly as possible, the act of a heterosexual couple (guy and woman) reversing their sexual roles and the woman dawning a prosthetic appendage that allows her to… well… penetrate her husband.I hope you understand what I mean by this, because that is probably the last time I will ever explain that here in this blog, lol. Now, keep in mind that this is done with a heterosexual couple and that this does not make either of them homosexual, just simply two people exploring new experiences with one another and/or sharing a moment they both find enjoyable. Usually the man takes enjoyment is being dominated and the woman takes enjoyment in having the upper hand as it were.

Now, with all of that being said, perhaps it is starting to become clear to you as to why someone who crossdresses may not always be transgender. There are people out there who like to do it for the sexual pleasure and no other reason at all. To me, this is not the same as being transgender.

 So, to sum it up for those who skipped the more graphic explanation (which was not as bad as I thought it would be, lol), the gist is that society makes certain things taboo by having negative connotations about them or outright banning them, and to some people this can be an allure and draw them into the experience. Because being transgender has nothing to do with sexuality (which is the next topic I am about to explore and explain), putting on the clothing and/or attempting to pass as your opposite gender solely for the purpose of a sexual kink, is not the same as being transgender.

There is a very major misconception out there that I would like to try and clear up, and that is that being transgender is somehow linked to someone’s sexual orientation. This is just not true. This misconception most likely comes from the fact that most people who are transgender happen to be homosexual. I argue that not only is this not at all a reflection of the entire transgender community, but also that there is only a small difference in the number of transgender people who by conventional standards would be considered homosexual and those who would be considered heterosexual.

There are countless men and women out there who crossdress when they can and who may or may not like to do it full time or even go so far as to actually transition to their opposite genetic gender, but never will for whatever reason, be it fear of rejection from their friends and family or because of the financial investment it would entail and they can’t afford it, or any other reason. There are also countless people who have transitioned, starting with hormones and eventually under going sexual reassignment surgery (SRS). Out of all of those people, a large chunk of them are still attracted to the opposite sex they were born as, meaning there are plenty of men who like to dress up as women and many men who have transitioned into being a woman who are still only sexually interested in women, and like wise there are women who dress as men and women who have transitioned into men who are still only attracted to men. And then, of course, there are people like me, who are a little more complicated, lol. Basically, I am a genetic man who is married to a genetic woman but I am also attracted to men as well as women and I also have a feminine side that I like to indulge. I used to consider myself to be bisexual, and for the simplicity of it all when I tell someone my sexuality I tell them that I am bi, however, I no longer see myself as bi, nor do I see myself as straight or gay. My sexual preferences just don’t seem to fit into any one category, and so personally I find it easier to operate as though I have no “sexual orientation”, I am just someone who enjoys sex and prefers to have it with someone I love and care about.

So that about wraps it up. There is much, much more I could talk about and much more detail I could go into, but as I wanted this to be a brief over view of what it means to be transgender, so I hope I have done that, lol.

Until next time, stay beautiful.

Erica S.